Friday, 13 May 2011

Standing At The Urinal


I have heard it said that Western men, on average, have larger male organs than Asian men.

Now, I do not go about checking and comparing, but, based on what I have unwittingly seen, this may indeed be true.

Although I do not like to check out other male's anatomy, it can be rather embarrassing at times when Thai guys seem to have no problem in checking my manhood out while standing at the urinal.

They do it in a subtle Thai way, which translates to, “fairly obviously” in a Westerner's view of things.

I have had to learn, as a result, how to best protect my own dignity when using urinals.

While on the topic of urinals, you will find, if you have not already, that at many restaurants and bars, there are guys whose job it is to hang out in the toilets ready to give a shoulder massage,while you pee, for a few baht.

No, not 'ready', but they just assume to and go for it without invitation.

Maybe Thai guys are different? Are they able to pee when there is some strange guy standing behind them giving them a massage?

It is not just the fact that it is a guy, but that I need to find my quiet place, and to relax before peeing, and there is no way to relax when you need to pee and there is a someone giving you a massage, especially when they start doing the light hitting thing, which can be quite pleasant ….. if only you are not trying to pee at the time!

Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Sexy Thailand


I have been to Thailand a number of times, and have ended up seeing many sexy girl events.

Now, I am the sort of guy that does not know which way to look. I am hopelessly devoted to my wife, and I believe that excess amounts of sexiness, because it is more than exciting within the bounds of my marriage in private, is something that I am not so excited about else where.

I am certainly not scared of places and people and am easily able to associate with people who ply sex for a trade, but I do struggle in situations where all that is expected of me is to watch a show that is based on sexiness.

If you have not already gathered, I am not referring to sex shows but to events where the main sell is sexiness and not much else.

Even when singers perform, the dancing girls are more visible, and yet often they can not even dance, but just stand there, dressed sexily, jiggling nearly in time to the music. I once went to a club with some friends, and the girls who worked there, every few hours would put on very skimpy outfits and would get up on the stage and dance for a song. I assume it was dancing as nearly all of them barely moved at all – it was such the oddest thing and I truly wondered what they were even doing and why.

I have also seen shows that are probably best described as the Thai version of the young American beauty pageants. The girls are very young, dressed much too old with much too much make up, trying to make them look sexy in their traditional Thai outfits. I personally see this as little kids in a show and enjoy it as much as I wonder why, but when I see such things with a western female beside me, I can not remember one time where there has not been strong disapproval of such events.

But, being that I struggle to find purpose in watch sexy events, and they bore me very quickly, I have ample opportunity to look around at the environment and what appear to be the reactions of others, and I am truly surprised by what I find.

It seems that Thai people appreciate something else that I can not quite see.

When I look at the crowd at such events, I see people of all ages and all three sexes (Thailand) really appreciating what they see and laughing and enjoying themselves and pointing things out to each other. This includes children and old grandmothers too.

When I go to some church and the youth put on a special dance during the service, quite a few moves would be frowned on HUGE time in a Western church, but here in Thailand, the sexual overtones of such actions seem to be completely missed as parents laugh and enjoy themselves and take their photos.

So, I wonder, what am I missing? What is the cultural difference that puts this sexy dancing into one category for me that is quite obviously completely unrelated to how Thais see the same thing?

One final (nearly final) point I would like to make is this: Although dress styles have become more relaxed and more Western in places like Bangkok, when I ask those people if they would dress the same in their home towns, they quickly reply that they would not as it would be unacceptable and seen as being under dressed. Yet, I have been to events in small rural towns in places in Thailand, where dress must modestly cover knees and shoulders and any suggestion of cleavage, and the old and young, men and women alike approve very much to scantly clad girls dancing (if we can call it that) sexy on a stage.

Final point. I decided to also include a photo of 'Cute Thailand'. If there is a 'Sexy Thailand' then there is almost certainly a 'Cute Thailand'. Both images seem to be trying to achieve the same sorts of things as far as I can see, and I find one about as fake as the other (I appreciate realness and people being who they are much much more) in my personal opinion. I included this photo as it was taken at the same football game as the sexy girls. The game was Bangkok Glass verses Muang Thong, the sexy girls being the FHM girls, for Muang Thong, and the cute green girls for Bangkok Glass.

Hey, these are just my thoughts and the things I notice. Please feel free to add your own thoughts based on your own experiences. If you think I am wrong or only see half the picture, then join in with some of your own thoughts.

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Drinking With The Boys


Thailand seems quite odd to me for one major reason: The guys and girls don't really seem to mix that much. In fact, I am not even sure how they meet and get married!

In Bangkok, and other central areas, you will see young couples, but apart from that, relationships seem to be about not being together that much, and then getting married, and then not being together that much some more. Whether this has good points or/and bad points is not the point today as we are looking at what the boys actually get up to.

These photos were taken at a family gathering, in a small Thai town, during the Songkran festival, which is the Thai New Year and is celebrated by throwing a lot of water at each other. The festival can last anywhere from 3 days to 1 month depending on the location.

All of the woman and children gathered at the front of the house and ate and socialised together, and the men retired to the back of the house to drink and have their own meal. On this occasion, there were actually more than 10 men, only a few being present at the time of this photo.

When all the men were present, of course they mainly sat cross legged on the bench with the food and drinks in the middle.

This scene can be found absolutely anywhere on any evening. Just go for a walk in Bangkok and you are bound to come across groups of guys, always drinking and sometimes eating as well.

Drinks come in two flavours.

The first is 'beer' – it really does not matter which brand as they are all so very similar and nothing like a good beer in the UK or other good beer producing countries. Beer usually comes in a shared glass. This does not seem to be because of a lack of glasses but because of social reasons, since when a stranger/visitor turns up, they are more inclined to offer a sip from a half drunk glass than to offer a fresh glass. To prepare a good beer, first the glass is filled with ice, even if the beer is cold, and then the beer added. It does not take long for there to be more water in your glass than beer. The glass must never be empty either, so as the ice melts and the beer get weaker, they will keep adding more ice and topping up with beer.

The second and last choice of drink is usually whiskey and soda water. Again, copious amounts of ice are added, and then a little whiskey and much soda water, with the then mandatory stir with some ice tongs which hardly ever seem to be used to add ice with. The whiskey is hardly ever worth calling whiskey either – maybe I am just spoiled from having been to Scotland. There is one ?whiskey? that is well worth the agony of trying. I forget what it is called just now, but it is called something like “10 degrees” (I may have to correct this later). It can be bought from any 7/11 and can be distinguished from the whiskeys behind the counter by it's beer shaped bottle.

I struggle to see how the Thai men get drunk so quick on such very weak drinks, but they always seem to be able to.

On the bench in these pictures, you can also see the mandatory ice bucket of water and a couple of bottles of seriously powerful pick-me-up drinks which are sometimes also mixed with the whiskey, very much like vodka and red bull or whatever.

As it is Songkran, it is a great opportunity to eat together as well, so it is time for a BBQ!

You can see some sushi which is a little unusual, but you will also see a small round cane looking basket which has sticky rice inside. This is how sticky rice is always kept, and is eaten by digging into it with your hands, each in turn, rolling the rice into a ball using both hands, and then dipping in a dish of food or adding some meat before eating.

One of the features of a boy's get together is that the boys often take joy in cooking, a bit like a Western BBQ. There is often much pride in telling a visiting westerner who prepared which dishes.

On this particular occasion, we ate BBQ pig. The process is not for the faint hearted ….

The pig was a little fella and came in a sack. First he was whacked, still in the sack, with a large piece of wood until he stopped complaining about it. Then he was removed from the sack and thrown into the fire, I assume to burn off all the hair and excess. He was then removed and cut up into pieces.

As a westerner, I was looking, I see a whole beast and I see the large juicy steaks and various cuts, but not so the Thais. They too recognise the various parts of the animal, but they straight away cut every thing into nearly bite sized pieces. But, they do include every part of the animal, and I do mean every part of the animal!

They then use what can be best described, for those who know/remember as device for toasting bread over the fire. It is made up of two wire mesh halves joined with a hinge and a long handle. The pieces of meat are sandwiched between the two sides and then the device held over the fire, turned often until the meat is done.

Various spicy dips are also prepared, so as the meat is ready, you take a piece in your hands, dip it in some spicy dish, add it to a rolled piece of sticky rice, and eat. You can see, on the bench in the photos, some meat cut up on a block, ready to eat, and some dishes of spicy this and that.

The whole process is much finger licking, much communal dipping and no hand washing.

As always, your comments of your own experiences or any additional points and information are more than welcome.